Yes…it has been a little time since my last blog but I did of course want to give the crew the chance to read all about me several times. Oh and answer a few questions pertaining to my childcare arrangements with the lovely author Milady Susana Ellis, who came to the same conclusion as myself regarding children. Of which….more later. Today ism most unusual to say the least, for we are here….. Here…..
or was it…..here?
I am afraid I don’t know know where we are and I would not be at liberty to say so either, even if I did. The gentlemen neither…although that is ok since that veil Talaino wore in Genoa the other week to disguise himself… is ideal for a gag. Give Myrtle a drink and she will soon shut her beak. Why I can’t say is that we have a very special guest on board today. A member of the sssssssssh no less. Yes. Called Sssh Sssssssh.
That’s N–k -ar–al-
No not Nick Arrrr Arrr. Nick Marshall. Oh dear, I think I gave something away. N–k .ar..al. is of course Incy Black’s new hero and he’s here today in her stead. If you are surprised by that, I am not. Milady Black visited Shehanne yesterday. And we all know what an experience THAT is.
Moreover, I see that certain shocking things were blogged.
Things we do no speak of here….So, let us move on and do our best in the situation.
Felicitations on seeing you in our little stopover today here, in the middle of some vast body of water, name undisclosed at your insistence.
Can you tell us something about your journey from your homeland?
Effing hell, no. Got no time for this. Making polite with Lala Land’s version of Scarlet O’Hara and the happy rejects from the cast of Treasure Island—no offence. But my ex wife, magnet for trouble that she is, happens to be missing. Have to get to her before her smart mouth brings about her early demise.
Gracious. Ignoring your foul language, and whoever this Scarlet O’Hara might be, not to mention how the cast of Treasure Island might send you to join your wife…..they have made you welcome I trust…..not?
Did I mention I’m in a hurry? If I’ve got to do this, can we skip the tea and move straight to alcohol—don’t worry about a glass, I’m just as happy with a bottle. And as for the crew? Just warn them if they get in my way, I’ll shoot them deader than a whore’s false glass eye.
I would and they would too like to see you try. Moving on…swiftly… with you towards the plank. You have brought me a pleasing little gift I see.
My wedding ring. Haven’t had the need to wear it in a long while, and my ex is likely to be too busy kicking my arse, to notice it’s gone.
Gracious. Your wedding ring? While I should like to say no, it’s more than Flint’s given me this far. But such hostility. I blame your father. Now, Special Agent Nick Marshall, you have met the charming members of the club who shall of course desist from flinging you over the side and put you back down. No gentlemen. Not with a thud. Can you tell us why we should each of us spend a week reading your book?
If it takes you a week, you’re doing it wrong. And for fuck’s sake, woman. I said no names. Don’t you understand the meaning of covert? I’m not here. You’ve never met me. This meeting never happened. Read the book or not, what do I care. By the time it’s out, my ex and I will be deep in Witness Protection. Me with my hands full, trying to convince said rule-eschewingex of the need for absolute discretion and total anonymity. Our shitty reward for inadvertently pissing off two of the planet’s most vicious crime families. Do you think insanity is catching? ‘Cos I fear, my ex has been heavily exposed. Can’t help but love the woman, but Jesus, my desire to strangle her for the trouble she brings, needs constant blunting
Hmm, sounds dangerous, on the subject of which, while I think I have cured Flint of eyeing other women, he is still a great one for eyeing everything else. He calls it booty. Is there anything I should do to disabuse him of helping himself to other people’s boats and their contents? Already we have four gondolas aboard.
Show him my Sig, tell him I’m not afraid to use it, and that if he so much as breathes in my ex’s direction, it won’t be his light fingers he misses, but rather that part of his body which most likely put that happy gleam of satiation in your pretty eyes. Aside from that, he can steal the whole bloody British fleet for all I care.
most thoughtfully provided our fare today, largely because the pirates eschew the culinary arts for cutlass waving, drinking and frolicking on shore with wenches. Do you have any tips for making them try at least to help my maid, Susan, in the galley? It is such a task and she gets quite fraught.
Order them to help at gunpoint. Alternatively, appoint my ex as head chef. She can’t cook for shit. Helping out will be their only hope of avoiding death by malnutrition…or poisoning.
As a man clearly on a mission, what sites do you intend visiting when you leave the ship? Apart from that being the sea itself? And [rovided of course, you first sign a disclaimer that you never saw me, or Flint?
Odd thing about Witness Protection—if I shared the ‘what next’ with you, I’d have to kill you. Something to which Flint might object, and I don’t need yet another bastard out to shorten my life. And that would be a ‘no’ to signing any disclaimer. I try never to leave a trail, not from where I’ve come, and damn straight, not to where I’m going.
The author of the ‘Hard to…’ series (shush, but Book 1 is out now April 28th through all reputable e-book retailers) insists on anonymity and the great hush-hush. Why? Because lives are under threat, needs must, and, well, she says so. But Milady Fury, loose as her lips are, and pointed as her tongue is inclined to be, might inadvertently let the odd clue slip…because no one should dare muzzle the Lady. Muzzled not being a part of her naughtiness. Muzzled not being a part of her repertoire. Muzzled not being to Flint’s fancy—much.
Skipper Jane has already reviewed this book. You can see it here.
‘Anna Key Marshall is about to get what she’s always wanted: a baby. Granted, it’s through a sperm donor instead of her ex-husband, but you can’t have everything. She has no idea why someone wants her dead, but she’ll do whatever it takes to protect her unborn child—even if it means turning to her ex, the Black Ops specialist who broke her heart.
Five years ago, British Intelligence agent Nick Marshall slammed the door on the woman who betrayed him. But now Anna’s back in his life with a vengeance, pregnant and full of attitude. He’d like nothing better than to walk away, but with her life on the line, he has no choice but to do what he does best—protect her at all costs.
As old wounds resurface, Nick begins to doubt his version of what went down with Anna so long ago. And he begins to believe they might have a second chance together. But with Anna’s would-be killer on the loose—it will take the full force and fury of his protective instincts, fueled by a powerful love he can’t leave behind, to hold on to the woman he still loves.
(whisper) Connect with incy here…..