Yes, those of you who are thoroughly plugged in will know this is not a double take. We have welcomed the beauteous and mysterious Milady Van Zandt before when her gift to me got a little mixed up with Shehanne’s book trailer and her cuckoo clock had a most unfortunate accident with Myrtle.
Having no desire to gain the reputation for being difficult with my guests….. Have I not said the beauteous Milady Duffy is to be my bridesmaid–the cake by the way has not been chosen, although I see the pirates have plainly been voting — I am of course delighted to have pushed the boat out once more for Milady Van Zandt. Squire Jack is too, after the notion he took the last time. And so, without further ado, here she is to discuss her book Seducing Amanda, a most saucy tale I am told.
Felicitations on seeing you in our little stopover today here in Tabarka a charming place in Tunisia. Can you tell us something about your journey from your homeland in far away Vienna where you live surrounded by portraits and cats?
Why, thank you, Milady. It is a joy to arrive here safe and sound. I swear my bottom is fair pinched black and blue by all those Italians I met on the train from Venice. One of them simply wouldn’t take ‘No’ for an answer. He kept pursuing me and when we were waiting for the ferry, he insisted on unpacking his inflatable gondola and serenading me with some song about an ice cream. He tried to persuade me to accompany him, but I didn’t fancy it. Or him for that matter. Then this big, burly sailor came along, hoisted me up in his arms and whisked me off to the ferry. The last time I looked back, the gondola was sinking and all I could see was this silly man holding on to his cornet. Most unsavoury!
How shocking. Something none of the gentlemen gathered here today would dream of doing I am sure. Their anything else either. Of course you are no stranger to them, although rest assured Nathan will protect you, but everyone is making you welcome I trust. Your cuckoo clock is perfectly safe this time?
Oh yes indeed, my lady. Although something odd seems to have happened to the cuckoo. Last time he poked his little beak out, I could have sworn his features had become more – well – furry, and his ‘Cuck – oo’ was more of a ‘Mee – ow’. You don’t have a cat on board, by any chance do you?
Well, not exactly but Milady Ashlin did give us a most unfortunate re-christening on twitter when she put an extra r in my name. For a while poor Myrtle did not know what she was. But… you have brought me a pleasing little gift I see.
Ah yes, now I’m sure this will cheer you, Milady, especially on those lonely nights when Flint isn’t here. I’ll just whip it out of my bag.
See? It’s a really nice big Italian one. The man who sold it to me is renowned as having the biggest in all Calabria. Have a look, have you ever seen such a big one? I know I haven’t and I’ve seen hundreds of sausages over the years.
Gracious and I thought you were refined Milady Van Zandt… But at least unlike last time the bag is not as empty as that picture frame was. Now….you have met the charming members of the club. Can you tell us why we should each of us spend a week reading your book?
Well, Milady, I’d best let one of my kind reviewers explain:
“Original, lyrical, and mesmerizing. Truthfully, I read to escape and want to be swept away. Far, far away. Antonia doesn’t disappoint. From the opening scene forward. Seducing Amanda was more like seduce the reader.”
Goodness. Another hot, saucy title the men who have disappeared with already.
While I think I have cured Flint of eyeing other women, he is still a great one for eyeing everything else. He calls it booty. Is there anything I should do to disabuse him of helping himself to other people’s boats and their contents? Already after your last visit we have four gondolas aboard.
All I can say is, if they’re not inflatable, let him keep them. You never know when they might come in handy. I mean, if nothing else, you can send the crew out in them, to fetch ice cream desserts and practice their classical repertoire.
Oh indeed. I am sure Taliano is an exquisite singer. For certain he is nothing else. Mama’s kitchen https://www.facebook.com/pages/Mamas-Kitchen/431002043619495?fref=ts
most thoughtfully provided our fare today…cornetto cake
largely because the pirates eschew the culinary arts for cutlass waving, drinking and frolicking on shore with wenches. Do you have any tips for making them try at least to help my maid, Susan, in the galley? It is such a task and she gets quite fraught.
Poor Susan, such a hardworking woman. I do feel for her, Milady, but, alas, I fear if those crew members are let loose in her kitchen, she will have even more work to do. No, set them to work keeping the rats off the ship and try and keep them away from the rum
Tabarka is quite a lovely place, with its castle and its jazz festival, its connection with Genoa even, and cliffs we must hope Shehanne doesn’t spot…what sites do you intend visiting when you leave here? Provided of course, you first sign a disclaimer that you never saw me, or Flint?
I shall happily sign your disclaimer, and I shall certainly look forward to soaking up the culture but, first, do you know where I can purchase one of those rubber ring things? All that pinching…the bruises are starting to come out and sitting down is really most uncomfortable.
Purchase? I am sure if you ask Flint nicely if he doesn’t just give you that one on the side of the ship, he will steal one for you.
Thank you for your gracious hospitality today, Milady. Here’s a little more information about Seducing Amanda:
ANTONIA VAN ZANDT
Escaping from a disastrous marriage, Amanda Dalton seeks a chance to heal her troubled mind at Dalton Manor, the rambling Victorian mansion recently inherited from her aunt. Her new home seems the perfect place to recuperate, but the house has a secret or two of its own. A mysterious couple comes to call–a beautiful man and woman who share their passion and encourage Amanda to explore her deepest sexual fantasies. But who are they? Where have they come from? Why won’t they tell her their names?
When Amanda discovers she is not the first to enjoy a ménage au trois with the couple, she’s drawn in ever deeper. She combs the house for clues to their identity, her desire to learn the truth becoming an obsession. But her work proves fruitless. With Christmas coming, Amanda knows she will soon have to make a decision–one that will determine the rest of her life. The snow is falling as she sips her wine. In the corner of her room, the lights twinkle on the Christmas tree near the fire. All is still and quiet. Until there’s a knock at the door…
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YOU CAN SEE OUR OTHER GUESTS INCLUDING ANTONIA ON OUR BOOOKS WE HAVE READ PAGE.